英文笑话第一篇：
1. I’m not addicted to Wechat! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, that time, this time, any time, all the time!我对微信并不上瘾。我只在有空时玩微信。主要是在午饭时间、休息时间、睡前时间、这些时间、那些时间、任何时间和所有时间玩玩而已。(这里主要利用time来达到幽默的效果，仔细体会一下英文哦!)
2. I hate two-faced people.It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.我最恨两面派，因为我不知道先扇哪边的脸，这让我很为难。
3.When a woman says “WHAT?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s just giving you a chance to change what you said.当一个女人说“什么?”，这不是因为她没听见你说什么。她只是在给你一个机会来收回你刚刚所说的话。
4. When people call you photogenic, they’re actually trying to tell you that you look uglier than your pics.当人们说你真上镜时，他们其实是想告诉你：你本人看起来比照片丑多了。
英文笑话第二篇：
1. People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.人们说笑容是最好的良药。你的脸一定能治愈全世界。
2. Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, and don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition.不要偷，不要撒谎，不要欺骗，不要贩毒。因为(美国)政府痛恨有人和它竞争。
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.婚姻是这样一种关系，一个人永远是对的，另一个人是丈夫。
4. Sometimes you just need some space…to fart.有时你只是需要一些空间来放屁!
英文笑话第三篇：
1. They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?他们说爱比金钱更重要，但是你是否试过用一个拥抱来付你的账?
2. When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…”当我临终之时，我希望我的最后遗言是“我留了一百万美金，放在了。”
3 I always learn from mistakes of others who take my advice.我总是从那些听了我的建议之后犯错的人哪里吸取经验教训。
1.
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
2.
What dog can jump higher than a building?
什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
Anydog, buildings can’t jump!
任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
3.
What has a head, a tail, and no body?
什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?
A coin!
硬币。
4.
What has one eye but cannot see?
什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?
A needle.
针。
5.
Wife: “How would you describe me?”
妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?
Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”
丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife: “What does that mean?”
妻子：那是什么意思?
Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”
丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?”
妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
丈夫：开个玩笑!
When I drinkalcohol,everyone says I’m an alcoholic.when I drink Fanta,no one says I’mfantastic
My father always told me,what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, until the accident.
Sex with three people iscalled threesome and sex with four people is called foursome. Now I finallyunderstand why everybody calls me handsome…
从前有只熊猫，去饭店点了几个菜大快朵颐，然后开枪杀了几个人就离开了。后来警察问它为什么要这样，熊猫拿出字典：Panda:an animal,eats shoots and leaves
飞机上偶遇好朋友Jack，激动打招呼Hi,Jack。其他乘客恐厄地举起了双手。
版权声明：本文内容由互联网用户自发贡献，该文观点仅代表作者本人。本站仅提供信息存储空间服务，不拥有所有权，不承担相关法律责任。如发现本站有涉嫌抄袭侵权/违法违规的内容， 请发送邮件至"举报投诉"一经查实，本站将立刻删除。
发布者：生活向前，转载请注明出处：https://www.eybaike.com/fenxiang/23204.html
微信扫一扫 
